My First Catan Victory EVER (A Board Game Marketing Allegory)

My introduction to new board games (ie board games not called “Monopoly” or “Clue”) was the same as countless others: playing “The Settlers of Catan”.

It may be hard to look back and remember, but the first time you learn a board game with options like that, it can feel overwhelming.

And, admittedly, I was downright BEWILDERED.

I keep playing and playing, and while I was learning, each time I would always do SOMETHING wrong

• “Oh yeah, sheep isn’t as important as you think…”

• “You know you can’t build any more towns until you build a city, right?”

• “Sorry, I gotta put the robber there… you don’t have a knight to move it!?”

Amateur mistakes like that.

Well one day I was playing with some guys on my floor sophomore year of college. It was my 10th or 12th attempt. The game had already been going for a little over an hour, and it was getting tense.

But suddenly I look down and realize: “OMG… I have 9 victory points”.

Side note: another reason I play board games instead of poker is becuase, well, I have a TERRIBLE poker face (that and my mom feared that her ADHD son would become a gambling addict). For that round I was doing everything I could to keep a level head and not give away that I was on the CUSP of victory.

Finally my turn comes around, my hand filled with more than enough to build my last city to win. I confidently roll the dice and…

7.

Oh NO.

My piss-poor poker face falters…

Not that it mattered, everyone can tell that was NOT what I wanted in that moment (duh… I had like 10 cards). I linger over my cards, trying to figure out what will not do the most damage, and reluctantly slide the dice over to the next player.

But it’s ok… because the next two guys roll numbers I have buildings on, and I’m right back where I started! Things are looking up when the guy before me rolls…

7.

“R…really?” I say aloud. I have to sift through my card’s AGAIN, wincing as I return everything I need for my final victory point back to the piles.

My turn… 12… nothing for nobody… and I once again pass the dice along.

By now my poker face is long gone. I’m tapping my fingers wildly. Bouncing my knee. Barely blinking. I am A-N-X-I-O-U-S.

I have NEVER been this close to figuring out Catan… truimph is tantalizingly close. But I know that the game hangs on the edge of a knife; a roll this way or that, my competition wins, and I’m back at square one.

Two of the next four rolls are my numbers, placing me once again on the threshold of triumph. But after being screwed over two times in a row I am far from confident.

I pause to take in the moment… whisper good fortune… shake the dice extra long… and I roll a…

7??!?!

I couldn’t hold it in… I instinctively yell “M$TH%R F8CK#R!!!” just like every good undergrad religion major.

Everyone turns to look at me… by now the secret is out; Riley is about to win and the dice gods seem to be doing everything in their power to prevent that from happening.

But fortunately the fates had had their fun… mercifully my final turn did NOT have a 7, and I was able to claim my first win as a Catan player.

And yes… it felt AMAZING. Finally got that monkey off my back.

I would go onto win many, many more games… winning 10 in a row at one point… some of which will merit additional blog posts.

But you know what’s crazy?

NOW when I play Catan, it’s as a WARM UP

Its an appetizer for a main course of a more intense, complicated board game. I take a look at the Catan tiles, select my spots, and kinda go on auto pilot for the rest of the game.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

The board game marketing moral/lesson of this is rather simple:

THIS SH*T TAKES TIME.

I is time consuming in two ways…

1) The first way is that it is just time consuming do to all the branding, designing, copywriting (etc.)

But even if you have the best people working on it as their full time job, and you produce all the marketing materials you need ASAP….

2) You’ll never see results right away.

No one is omniscient… finding the exact right strategy for your tabletop game and your target audience involves some educated guessing.

That that guessing has to be tested; what works moves forward… what doesn’t is changed or abandoned.

It’s important that you see these tests not as failures or losses, but ways to learn more and more about your place in your specific market… to learn how YOU need to play the game of marketing in a way that works for YOU.

The more you learn… the more you know what works… the sooner your marketing will be able to “earn 10 victory points” regularly, all while running on autopilot :)